Mm. And you are both still young - your worlds are shaped by your experiences, and you naturally have less than the rest of us. It is harder to make judgments.
I do not think it a matter of being anyone's fault -
Which perhaps can make it more frustrating to endure.
.... well, if anyone else proves difficult in the coming days -
I hope you try again with them. I hope that you continue to hold your hand out to people, because it does create a bit of light even when you think it doesn't.
I'll try too, so we can avoid something like this happening again.
no subject
[Which is a little more than his usual 'it was sad.']
I tried hard to help him, but in the end, I wasn't able to.
no subject
... it's disappointing and painful on both ends -
When you reach your hand out to someone, and they don't take it.
no subject
[He will accept pats, yes.]
I wonder why?
no subject
... guilt, perhaps. Worry of tarnishing your shine.
The worry that... if you are not worthy of someone's kindness, you will only drag them down with you.
Though... I don't know him well - so I'm afraid I can only guess.
no subject
[Startled, suddenly, like Soo-won said something really surprising.]
He said he didn't want to drag others down with him.
no subject
soo-won blinks for a moment, evident that he hadn't like
heard the conversation but]
.... then perhaps it is that.
Those who do not believe that they can be saved without hurting others in the process. [a beat] ... it is a startling amount of kindness.
Even if it is also frustrating.
no subject
[He is getting a little upset again, though it's. Not so easy to tell.]
He was wrong about that. It wouldn't have hurt me.
no subject
[gentle, encouraging - more curious than anything]
no subject
So I think, if I can grow a little from knowing someone, then in the end I'll be better off.
no subject
That is the way that we hope to interact with people, and I think that you have a very kind, open heart.
But maybe he is the one who did not see you clearly, then.
no subject
no subject
Mm. And you are both still young - your worlds are shaped by your experiences, and you naturally have less than the rest of us. It is harder to make judgments.
I do not think it a matter of being anyone's fault -
Which perhaps can make it more frustrating to endure.
no subject
[Because then maybe he would have understood, and not made things so difficult.]
no subject
I hope that you do not put too much of that fault on your shoulders.
no subject
[He considers that for a few moments.]
No, I don't feel that it was my fault. I just think - maybe it was easier for me than for others to see who he was.
no subject
That's true.
But... it's not your responsibility to save him either.
Or do you think it was?
no subject
[That's a sort of heavy word, and not one that he likes.]
It's not that I thought I was the only one who could help.
no subject
Mm, that's good - I think a lot of people like believing they're the only ones who could save someone.
... but it sounds as though you think you needed to speak on his behalf in order to convince others.
no subject
[It looked. Really bad.]
But I hoped that I might have been able to show him a different way.
no subject
I hope you try again with them. I hope that you continue to hold your hand out to people, because it does create a bit of light even when you think it doesn't.
I'll try too, so we can avoid something like this happening again.
no subject
I will. I won't stop reaching out. Even if it doesn't change anything now, maybe one day it might.
no subject
Mm.
I am glad that you're here, Shigeo. I would send you home immediately if I could, for the record, because I'd rather no children be present -
But talking to you makes me feel better about a lot of things.