[there's a bit of a smile at that, fond and amused - he's glad that apparently they're on the same page]
Taking a life is difficult, and I believe it largely only happens when people are pushed in a way that makes them feel compelled to act.
There's also cruelty and selfishness that can arise...
But at least here, I don't believe that's the case.
Maybe it's naive to want to understand others... but I also don't think it's something I can bring myself to regret. Everyone has their own circumstances, after all.
[Hmm. But he'll answer? He doesn't like to talk about it, but if he might forget, isn't it better to?]
The first time I had to make that decision, I didn't want to at all. My brother was taken by some very bad people. And he - [He stops, a little startled, because there's something missing here he didn't notice until now.] He, and I, and someone else had to fight them. But their powers were strong, and we couldn't win against them.
[His mood starts to tick up, little by little, more and more anxious.]
Using my abilities against other people is - whenever I have to, it's terrible. My abilities are dangerous. When I use them people become hurt, even when I try to hold back as much as I can. But my brother was saying that this time - this time, if I wanted to prevent everyone from being hurt, I had to stop holding back, or caring if I wound up killing those people.
What he was saying was - the person who has the most power also has the responsibility to fight. Even though I don't like hurting someone, if it's my responsibility, isn't it wrong to run from it?
in comparison to mob's anxiousness - he'll notice that soo-won is almost all too comfortable with this conversation. the familiarity, the understanding, the easy way he can reach for empathy and truly feel it.]
.... it would be nice if you weren't in that position, wouldn't it? If you didn't have that power to defeat people - but then... would you feel worse, if you couldn't save people when you wanted to?
[something in soo-won's heart aches and he can't stop the feeling, can't help that twist of what it means to choose everyone over someone.]
.... I hope you find an answer that you can live with, Shigeo. One that hurts you less - but one that you can be proud of, and acknowledge as one that you willingly chose.
[It's easy to talk to someone who just listens and encourages him; who doesn't get too upset or react to strongly. He takes a breath, the anxiety ticking back down again until he's calmer.]
I never thought about it that way before - the power to save people. [Well he has, but he forgot.] I didn't think I would miss them, but since coming here - if I had them, maybe there would be things I could have done that I wasn't able to do.
That's the difficult thing about power - it does come with a great burden. Because with power you can harm others if you aren't careful, and cause situations that cause hurt - but if you lack power and initiative, you also would only be able to stand idly by instead of being able to help anyone either.
[he shakes his head a bit]
Even then I think... that you do well for yourself here, and you do your best. That does count for something.
[ . . . . huh. soo-won blinks at that, a little surprised.]
That is quite the burden to be going through these types of ordeals twice.
.... but I didn't mean to suggest that it's not good to be surrounded by people who want to support you. On the contrary, I'm glad that you feel looked after here.
Rather... I just think that even if you didn't receive too much help, I think you'd be able to reach a good conclusion.
It wasn't the same, but it was also a terrible place.
[Soo-won's answer doesn't seem to satisfy him, so he'll continue a little.]
It was - a world created by a spirit. The place where I met Yuki. [The kitty cat - he mentioned to Soo-won when they met that she was from some kind of artificial place, right?] When he was alive, he had powers like I do, and he wanted to teach me something about them.
. . . His lesson worked. He was able to get me to use my powers to - to harm another person. I did something truly terrible there.
But I want to think it will be different this time! Because in that world, I didn't have anyone to talk to except for him.
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Taking a life is difficult, and I believe it largely only happens when people are pushed in a way that makes them feel compelled to act.
There's also cruelty and selfishness that can arise...
But at least here, I don't believe that's the case.
Maybe it's naive to want to understand others... but I also don't think it's something I can bring myself to regret. Everyone has their own circumstances, after all.
no subject
I've been in circumstances like that before. So. . . I couldn't hate someone for it.
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[he sounds just a little surprised, given mob
but also he doesn't sound upset by it]
May I ask when and why?
no subject
[Hmm. But he'll answer? He doesn't like to talk about it, but if he might forget, isn't it better to?]
The first time I had to make that decision, I didn't want to at all. My brother was taken by some very bad people. And he - [He stops, a little startled, because there's something missing here he didn't notice until now.] He, and I, and someone else had to fight them. But their powers were strong, and we couldn't win against them.
[His mood starts to tick up, little by little, more and more anxious.]
Using my abilities against other people is - whenever I have to, it's terrible. My abilities are dangerous. When I use them people become hurt, even when I try to hold back as much as I can. But my brother was saying that this time - this time, if I wanted to prevent everyone from being hurt, I had to stop holding back, or caring if I wound up killing those people.
What he was saying was - the person who has the most power also has the responsibility to fight. Even though I don't like hurting someone, if it's my responsibility, isn't it wrong to run from it?
That's the type of decision I mean.
no subject
in comparison to mob's anxiousness - he'll notice that soo-won is almost all too comfortable with this conversation. the familiarity, the understanding, the easy way he can reach for empathy and truly feel it.]
.... it would be nice if you weren't in that position, wouldn't it? If you didn't have that power to defeat people - but then... would you feel worse, if you couldn't save people when you wanted to?
[something in soo-won's heart aches and he can't stop the feeling, can't help that twist of what it means to choose everyone over someone.]
.... I hope you find an answer that you can live with, Shigeo. One that hurts you less - but one that you can be proud of, and acknowledge as one that you willingly chose.
no subject
[It's easy to talk to someone who just listens and encourages him; who doesn't get too upset or react to strongly. He takes a breath, the anxiety ticking back down again until he's calmer.]
I never thought about it that way before - the power to save people. [Well he has, but he forgot.] I didn't think I would miss them, but since coming here - if I had them, maybe there would be things I could have done that I wasn't able to do.
no subject
[he shakes his head a bit]
Even then I think... that you do well for yourself here, and you do your best. That does count for something.
You're growing just as much as the rest of us.
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It's because I have people like you, who always help me.
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Come now, Shigeo, don't give everyone else so much credit.
I'm happy to help you -
But I think you need my help less than you might think.
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. . . No. I need to have good people like you around me.
A little while ago, I was in a place that was nearly as awful as this place. But I was alone there. And that really. . . really made it different.
no subject
That is quite the burden to be going through these types of ordeals twice.
.... but I didn't mean to suggest that it's not good to be surrounded by people who want to support you. On the contrary, I'm glad that you feel looked after here.
Rather... I just think that even if you didn't receive too much help, I think you'd be able to reach a good conclusion.
no subject
[Soo-won's answer doesn't seem to satisfy him, so he'll continue a little.]
It was - a world created by a spirit. The place where I met Yuki. [The kitty cat - he mentioned to Soo-won when they met that she was from some kind of artificial place, right?] When he was alive, he had powers like I do, and he wanted to teach me something about them.
. . . His lesson worked. He was able to get me to use my powers to - to harm another person. I did something truly terrible there.
But I want to think it will be different this time! Because in that world, I didn't have anyone to talk to except for him.