but soo-won just laughs at that - amused, but nonetheless pleased]
Do you think so? Then I'm honored. Though it was your quick thinking that saved us from the gorillas. I think that you're becoming more and more impressive with each day, Captain Shigeo.
[Won is so nice, but he's not feeling in a mood to be buttered up, even if it's sincere.]
Do you think I did the wrong thing? [At trial, he means.] I wanted to find the person who hurt Yoshizawa-san, too. She was my friend. [Not that he thinks that made him special. She was friends with everyone it seemed.]
[but he'll focus on the primary topic - he just didn't want mob to think that soo-won would let him get yeeted out of a giant tree??]
Hmm.... No - but I also think right and wrong are very subjective. Even though you brought it up, I think that it was on many people's minds. You just put Hansa in a situation where he had to deal with those accusations more directly.
[rip hansa and chiron's honesty....]
I think the problem with these trials is that we're bad at dividing our attention. I've said it in the past... but I'm afraid I still haven't found a remedy for it. We could pursue Shiro's and Yoshizawa's murders at the same time, but as soon as a large dramatic development happens, everyone runs to it.
I cared about Shiro-san, too. [So it's not as though it's so easy to just say - it doesn't matter.] Even if he started it.
I haven't hated anyone who's killed someone here. Not one of them has been a terrible person. [So maybe that's his problem - it all feels cruel, so it's hard to think one outcome is particularly cruel.]
[he nods in agreement with that! in all honesty, mob seems to come to the same conclusions as soo-won often. he doesn't hate anyone who's killed either, and he can't just say that one person sucks more than any other.]
Mm.
I feel the same way. It simply felt to me as though people wanted to pursue Yoshizawa's murder more, as it would give them more closure, and so I thought it worth pursuing for the sake of morale.
But both of their deaths are tragic, because all life is precious.
Not in any way that you would like, or that anyone to find easy to understand.
[if he's going to be honest. but.... mob is trying to understand him, so soo-won will try to speak both honestly and clearly.]
But consider this: Yoshizawa's killer likely acted because her nova was splintering. While this isn't confirmed, it is in line with what the patterns have been observed. Yet her death can be considered more brutal as well.
In the case of Shiro, he ultimately sought to attack someone else, and was then killed instead. While both are a loss of life, some might say 'he deserved it' because he is the one who 'started it', no matter his intentions.
So you have to look at everyone gathered and ask - what would they be able to live with? And what conclusion will harm everyone's emotions the least?
For the sake of morale.... I decided that instead of condemning someone who was just trying to protect their own life, everyone would rather find the person who ruthlessly attacked a teenaged girl who was already injured.
.... even though they may have only acted that way to try to save us all.
None of it is fair - but that is how I try to think of what is worth pursuing, given situations such as these. There is no way to escape without someone being hurt... so how do we pursue what will arguably hurt the least?
[He nods along to all of that. It. . . makes sense? Not in the sense that he agrees, but in the sense that Soo-won is clearly smart and persuasive, and he wouldn't know how to argue.
But that's not even what he meant.]
You. . . you have the confidence to think something like that, and also think that you're right. It's one thing to think something like that, but how do you decide that it's the right decision for others, as well? How do you decide something like that for them, and feel like you aren't making a mistake?
[The fact that he's arguing with him at all about this is a sign of trust, though - if he really doesn't like something someone does, he doesn't talk to them about it, or if he does, it's just to lecture. He only asks people he feels like he has something to learn from them.]
You didn't say "let's get Yoshizawa-san's killer, even though she probably splintered, because it will be better for morale." I think people wouldn't have liked it if you'd told them that was your plan!
[ . . . . . he looks thoughtful at that before humming thoughtfully. true, he didn't say it quite like that.]
Not phrased like that, no.
But phrased "let's search for Yoshizawa's killer instead of questioning Hansa, because they attacked her brutally despite her injuries and performed above the normal task of removal, and because it will bring everyone more peace"....
Not always. Because there's people like you, and you can see my words in a different way. That's part of what makes people so fascinating. No one has to believe me or like me - I'm just lucky that they do.
[he just tilts his head]
... nothing in this world is absolute. To pursue what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' will only lead you without answers, because everyone has different interpretations of those sentiments.
I suppose all I do is watch people, and based on what I know of them, I try to help them to what will bring them the most joy and least amount of pain - even if it's hard, in a place like this.
. . . I can't make anyone do anything based on my words. [Well, he can, but his words are always straightforward expressions of his feelings.] But I'm always afraid of making decisions like that. So it's hard to understand that kind of thinking. [To be so sure in what will be for the best for people.]
It worries me a little, because I trust you. But. . . maybe someday you'll decide it's better for me not to know something.
People who are like you. . . who find it easy to use your words to convince people. . . I'm not very good at standing up to that.
I think you were very convincing with the skeletons on the pirate ship, you know? You came out unharmed, and everyone was able to defer to your wishes.
You know... I'm a person the same as you, Shigeo. Maybe it's because I'm a bit older, and have some experience that you don't... but I don't think there's anything stopping you from becoming good at standing up to me, if you ever disagree with me.
[All he did was listen to them, and then tell them to stop fighting. It feels like anyone could do that. But the rest of it - that's true. Being good at persuading others is just like any other trait - like having psychic powers, or being good at running long distances.]
You think I can? [That makes him relieved a little. Sighing.] That's good. You remind me a little of someone - only a little. [It's definitely not exact, but.] You're good at giving advice, and you're good at getting people to listen to you, and solving problems with your words. But that person. . . recently, I've realized that person lied to me about a lot of things.
[ . . . . he looks thoughtful at that. is he good at those things? it doesn't seem like he tried to be, but.]
.... I'm afraid I can't claim to be a completely honest people - few people can. So I won't try to assure you that I will always be truthful or right - because those types of things... they're too circumstantial for me to agree to.
But at the very least I can promise you this -
I like people. I like them very much - so everything I do... it's for the sake of trying to help them.
If I ever forget that - then I'm afraid I'm no longer myself.
[Hmm. For reasons, this is just. Not working for him. That answer only makes him feel more confused.
But Soo-won is someone he can trust. He's helped him many times, right?]
I don't want to make you promise me anything like that. I don't want you to be a different person. But . . . when I said I wanted to become more reliable, you helped me. And you haven't. . . [How to put this.] There are people here who say things only to protect my feelings, or act like I won't be able to understand things that are difficult.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He will take a cup.]
Can I ask you something?
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so many beverages at murder scenes and soo-won knows how much he likes his tea and how sus it looks.
but.]
Of course. I'll answer to the best of my ability.
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[i was gone for most of trial but the terrible thing is that i called it in a dm early so soo-won's answer is:]
When he admitted that his bracelet was used, I think.
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Oh. I thought maybe. . . If Cervantes-san and Archer-san knew. . .
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Yes. I'm not surprised that's what he trusted them with. They're the reliable types, aren't they?
.... I only wish that we could have met their expectations better, and pursued the better answer.
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[Damn!!]
I think you're the reliable type, Won. I can always count on you.
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but soo-won just laughs at that - amused, but nonetheless pleased]
Do you think so? Then I'm honored. Though it was your quick thinking that saved us from the gorillas. I think that you're becoming more and more impressive with each day, Captain Shigeo.
[he has to give praise where it's due!!]
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[Won is so nice, but he's not feeling in a mood to be buttered up, even if it's sincere.]
Do you think I did the wrong thing? [At trial, he means.] I wanted to find the person who hurt Yoshizawa-san, too. She was my friend. [Not that he thinks that made him special. She was friends with everyone it seemed.]
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[but he'll focus on the primary topic - he just didn't want mob to think that soo-won would let him get yeeted out of a giant tree??]
Hmm.... No - but I also think right and wrong are very subjective. Even though you brought it up, I think that it was on many people's minds. You just put Hansa in a situation where he had to deal with those accusations more directly.
[rip hansa and chiron's honesty....]
I think the problem with these trials is that we're bad at dividing our attention. I've said it in the past... but I'm afraid I still haven't found a remedy for it. We could pursue Shiro's and Yoshizawa's murders at the same time, but as soon as a large dramatic development happens, everyone runs to it.
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I haven't hated anyone who's killed someone here. Not one of them has been a terrible person. [So maybe that's his problem - it all feels cruel, so it's hard to think one outcome is particularly cruel.]
But. . . Yoshizawa-san. . .
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Mm.
I feel the same way. It simply felt to me as though people wanted to pursue Yoshizawa's murder more, as it would give them more closure, and so I thought it worth pursuing for the sake of morale.
But both of their deaths are tragic, because all life is precious.
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[He does trust Soo-won a lot, and he feels like Soo-won understands his feelings in a way few people do, but then sometimes he says things like that.]
How do you make decisions like that?
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[if he's going to be honest. but.... mob is trying to understand him, so soo-won will try to speak both honestly and clearly.]
But consider this: Yoshizawa's killer likely acted because her nova was splintering. While this isn't confirmed, it is in line with what the patterns have been observed. Yet her death can be considered more brutal as well.
In the case of Shiro, he ultimately sought to attack someone else, and was then killed instead. While both are a loss of life, some might say 'he deserved it' because he is the one who 'started it', no matter his intentions.
So you have to look at everyone gathered and ask - what would they be able to live with? And what conclusion will harm everyone's emotions the least?
For the sake of morale.... I decided that instead of condemning someone who was just trying to protect their own life, everyone would rather find the person who ruthlessly attacked a teenaged girl who was already injured.
.... even though they may have only acted that way to try to save us all.
None of it is fair - but that is how I try to think of what is worth pursuing, given situations such as these. There is no way to escape without someone being hurt... so how do we pursue what will arguably hurt the least?
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But that's not even what he meant.]
You. . . you have the confidence to think something like that, and also think that you're right. It's one thing to think something like that, but how do you decide that it's the right decision for others, as well? How do you decide something like that for them, and feel like you aren't making a mistake?
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.... I don't decide anything for them. That's not how people are - you can't control them, or hope that they'll listen to you just because you say so.
I can only try to present my arguments and hope they will be listened to. Here, I suppose I'm lucky that people will agree with me.
But even if I make a mistake... I will accept that, too. Even if I do something wrong, I can't shy away from it.
But my father always used to tell me... If we do not swiftly apply our reasoning to situations and arrive at answers, then we will fall to ruin.
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[The fact that he's arguing with him at all about this is a sign of trust, though - if he really doesn't like something someone does, he doesn't talk to them about it, or if he does, it's just to lecture. He only asks people he feels like he has something to learn from them.]
You didn't say "let's get Yoshizawa-san's killer, even though she probably splintered, because it will be better for morale." I think people wouldn't have liked it if you'd told them that was your plan!
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Not phrased like that, no.
But phrased "let's search for Yoshizawa's killer instead of questioning Hansa, because they attacked her brutally despite her injuries and performed above the normal task of removal, and because it will bring everyone more peace"....
Is it not the same thing?
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[He sounds a little shaken, thinking of it like that.]
But. . . you're persuasive. So you decided to say your arguments in a way where people would listen. Isn't that a little like deciding?
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[he just tilts his head]
... nothing in this world is absolute. To pursue what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' will only lead you without answers, because everyone has different interpretations of those sentiments.
I suppose all I do is watch people, and based on what I know of them, I try to help them to what will bring them the most joy and least amount of pain - even if it's hard, in a place like this.
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It worries me a little, because I trust you. But. . . maybe someday you'll decide it's better for me not to know something.
People who are like you. . . who find it easy to use your words to convince people. . . I'm not very good at standing up to that.
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[he looks a little surprised at that]
I think you were very convincing with the skeletons on the pirate ship, you know? You came out unharmed, and everyone was able to defer to your wishes.
You know... I'm a person the same as you, Shigeo. Maybe it's because I'm a bit older, and have some experience that you don't... but I don't think there's anything stopping you from becoming good at standing up to me, if you ever disagree with me.
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[All he did was listen to them, and then tell them to stop fighting. It feels like anyone could do that. But the rest of it - that's true. Being good at persuading others is just like any other trait - like having psychic powers, or being good at running long distances.]
You think I can? [That makes him relieved a little. Sighing.] That's good. You remind me a little of someone - only a little. [It's definitely not exact, but.] You're good at giving advice, and you're good at getting people to listen to you, and solving problems with your words. But that person. . . recently, I've realized that person lied to me about a lot of things.
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.... I'm afraid I can't claim to be a completely honest people - few people can. So I won't try to assure you that I will always be truthful or right - because those types of things... they're too circumstantial for me to agree to.
But at the very least I can promise you this -
I like people. I like them very much - so everything I do... it's for the sake of trying to help them.
If I ever forget that - then I'm afraid I'm no longer myself.
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But Soo-won is someone he can trust. He's helped him many times, right?]
I don't want to make you promise me anything like that. I don't want you to be a different person. But . . . when I said I wanted to become more reliable, you helped me. And you haven't. . . [How to put this.] There are people here who say things only to protect my feelings, or act like I won't be able to understand things that are difficult.
Lies like that. . . [Please don't?]