[He's listening, but he's still just processing all of that, too.]
Um. . . when I talked to him before, he encouraged me to say what's on my mind. And he said you were that kind of person, too.
Do you agree with that? Do you think it's better for someone to say what's on their mind, even if what they say might wind up making someone angry, or hurt?
It's why I told Shuuya-kun what I did. I care about him, and he deserves to know what I think, even if it isn't always nice. If he has to be mad at me... I want him to be able to feel that, and make his own decision about it.
But I won't lie to him about something like that just because I want to feel better, or I want them not to hurt as much.
[Her flinch doesn't stop him from watching her with a steady gaze. But he's a gentle person, and that's the most he's capable of scolding someone who is already regretful.]
Shuuya-kun calls me stupid all the time. I know why he does, and I know I'm not, but...
I.... if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't panicked and just trusted him to stand up for himself, then... he might not have been picked. And...
[And that, in itself, was the stupidest thing she feels she's done in a while. It seems so, so familiar that it just makes her feel like she's going to fall apart.]
Not from the execution. From this place. From... wherever the "removed" are taken. I don't want to believe they just vanish, and Shuuya-kun... I think he deserves another chance.
[To the question, though, she just shakes her head. Nope. The dead sure do stay dead.]
They don't where I'm from, either. Sometimes, people leave behind spirits, but that's all.
[He doesn't want to dash her hopes, but it seems like a bad idea to put your hopes in something like that. Pretending death isn't real, just because if it's real, the consequences are painful.]
This isn't either of those places though. It might be connected to everything, but... the Realm is special. And at the trial... there's a lot of people here that say they're supposed to be dead, or that they've died before. Virid-kun... the only reason he even did what he did was because he was supposed to be dead.
I don't know if we can bring anyone back. But if we can, while we're in a place like this...
Mn, I know. The Realm, and stopping all of this... that's most important. I haven't forgotten.
I'll... I'll ask. After today, I... don't want to assume anything without asking again. But...
[A beat, before she holds up her hand, her pinky extended.]
I'm not going to do something like that again, Shigeo-kun. I promise. Even if I didn't know what it was going to do beforehand, it... still really, really hurt Shuuya-kun, and he can't even tell me how he feels because of it... and I can't take that back.
But it's my responsibility to see my mistakes and decide whether I'm gonna repeat them or not.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Um. . . when I talked to him before, he encouraged me to say what's on my mind. And he said you were that kind of person, too.
Do you agree with that? Do you think it's better for someone to say what's on their mind, even if what they say might wind up making someone angry, or hurt?
no subject
It's why I told Shuuya-kun what I did. I care about him, and he deserves to know what I think, even if it isn't always nice. If he has to be mad at me... I want him to be able to feel that, and make his own decision about it.
But I won't lie to him about something like that just because I want to feel better, or I want them not to hurt as much.
no subject
Hikaru-san. Please never, ever change someone's feelings that way again.
no subject
But she nods, her eyes staying on the ground.]
I... don't want to. I didn't want to.
no subject
Mistakes happen sometimes.
no subject
Shuuya-kun calls me stupid all the time. I know why he does, and I know I'm not, but...
I.... if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't panicked and just trusted him to stand up for himself, then... he might not have been picked. And...
[And that, in itself, was the stupidest thing she feels she's done in a while. It seems so, so familiar that it just makes her feel like she's going to fall apart.]
no subject
But he does feel sad for her, that she has to feel that way.]
If a mistake happened, all you can do is say you're sorry and try to do better.
no subject
But... apologizing won't save him.
[Her fists clench tightly against her sides.]
I want to find a way to save him, Shigeo-kun. To bring him back, if anything happens.
no subject
[They can try. But, just like before, they probably won't be able to.]
Do people who die come back, where you're from?
no subject
[To the question, though, she just shakes her head. Nope. The dead sure do stay dead.]
no subject
[He doesn't want to dash her hopes, but it seems like a bad idea to put your hopes in something like that. Pretending death isn't real, just because if it's real, the consequences are painful.]
no subject
I don't know if we can bring anyone back. But if we can, while we're in a place like this...
Shouldn't we try?
no subject
[But.]
But we should try even harder to prevent anyone from dying in the first place.
no subject
I'll... I'll ask. After today, I... don't want to assume anything without asking again. But...
[A beat, before she holds up her hand, her pinky extended.]
I'm not going to do something like that again, Shigeo-kun. I promise. Even if I didn't know what it was going to do beforehand, it... still really, really hurt Shuuya-kun, and he can't even tell me how he feels because of it... and I can't take that back.
But it's my responsibility to see my mistakes and decide whether I'm gonna repeat them or not.
no subject
Okay. If you want to try to make it right, then I want to help you do that.
no subject
...Thanks for telling me the truth.