I regret it by my choice, Shigeo-kun. Even if I didn't mean it to do what it did... Shuuya-kun still suffered, and he still grew to hate me for not trusting him more. The people that loved him are suffering without him.
There are people that blame me for him dying, that say his blood is on my hands. I can't change their minds for them with my words. All I can do is be wiser about it, and let my actions speak louder.
Sometimes people who are angry with themselves lash out at others. There were many people who voted for him. That was a mistake, too. Saying his blood is on your hands is. . . mm.
[Really fucking terrible?]
You don't need to change the minds of people like that. It's good to accept that you made a mistake and promise to try and do better, but that's it.
[She has had some interesting pcs since that trial... haha... :(]
...Shigeo-kun...
It's complicated. And I... I won't turn my eyes away from the fact that my mistake made a bad situation worse, and that it's part of my responsibility. The longer that it goes on... the harder it is to remember what he even said to me.
But... I know I want to see Shuuya-kun again. I want this place to be repaired, to save everyone... and for us to find him, and Raven, and all the rest, and make sure they can be with the people they love.
That's... that's more important to me, than convincing anyone else otherwise.
[After all, she can't remember those two, her precious friends. And she can't remember the promise she made to them, that was so important to her. No matter what he does, he won't be able to keep his word and remind her of them, not really. Nor will he be able to really know why they made that promise, or what they were trying to avoid - he should have asked her about it. He should ask people more about themselves, shouldn't he, if he wants to be able to help them?
But nothing says she can't have a new friend, and make a new promise, right? If he can do that - if he can try to take their place, in a small way, just for a little while, even if he can't possibly replace something so important entirely, even if the situation will be different - then maybe it will still count.]
Let's both promise that we're not going to regret the things we've done. No matter what, let's only keep working hard to save everyone in the future. I'll promise, too.
She looks touched for a moment, not sure what to say. But she'll wade over to him through the stream, splashing as she goes, just until she's close enough to lift her hand to him with her pinky out.]
I promise.
No matter what... I don't want us to leave this place with our hearts knowing nothing but guilt.
We're gonna get out of here together, Shigeo-kun. All of us.
[Taking her pinky with his, giving her a small smile.
He feels. . . a lot of guilt, about a lot of things, guilt he isn't ready to let go yet. But he also wouldn't lie in a pinky promise. So - if it's to help her, then he'll have to let go of some of that, too.]
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no subject
I regret it by my choice, Shigeo-kun. Even if I didn't mean it to do what it did... Shuuya-kun still suffered, and he still grew to hate me for not trusting him more. The people that loved him are suffering without him.
There are people that blame me for him dying, that say his blood is on my hands. I can't change their minds for them with my words. All I can do is be wiser about it, and let my actions speak louder.
no subject
[Really fucking terrible?]
You don't need to change the minds of people like that. It's good to accept that you made a mistake and promise to try and do better, but that's it.
no subject
...Shigeo-kun...
It's complicated. And I... I won't turn my eyes away from the fact that my mistake made a bad situation worse, and that it's part of my responsibility. The longer that it goes on... the harder it is to remember what he even said to me.
But... I know I want to see Shuuya-kun again. I want this place to be repaired, to save everyone... and for us to find him, and Raven, and all the rest, and make sure they can be with the people they love.
That's... that's more important to me, than convincing anyone else otherwise.
no subject
[He still doesn't know if that will be possible, but - maybe. It seems like maybe something could change, if they try.]
In the meantime, could you do me a favor? You and I - we're friends, right?
no subject
no subject
[After all, she can't remember those two, her precious friends. And she can't remember the promise she made to them, that was so important to her. No matter what he does, he won't be able to keep his word and remind her of them, not really. Nor will he be able to really know why they made that promise, or what they were trying to avoid - he should have asked her about it. He should ask people more about themselves, shouldn't he, if he wants to be able to help them?
But nothing says she can't have a new friend, and make a new promise, right? If he can do that - if he can try to take their place, in a small way, just for a little while, even if he can't possibly replace something so important entirely, even if the situation will be different - then maybe it will still count.]
Let's both promise that we're not going to regret the things we've done. No matter what, let's only keep working hard to save everyone in the future. I'll promise, too.
no subject
She looks touched for a moment, not sure what to say. But she'll wade over to him through the stream, splashing as she goes, just until she's close enough to lift her hand to him with her pinky out.]
I promise.
No matter what... I don't want us to leave this place with our hearts knowing nothing but guilt.
We're gonna get out of here together, Shigeo-kun. All of us.
no subject
He feels. . . a lot of guilt, about a lot of things, guilt he isn't ready to let go yet. But he also wouldn't lie in a pinky promise. So - if it's to help her, then he'll have to let go of some of that, too.]
Mm. We are.