[Well, he understands that. He's heard bad news before, and what's more, he understands the importance of regulating his reaction. So he hands her the bowl.]
Will you hold this while you tell me?
[He still looks a little worried, though.]
Um. One thing first. If it's very bad, it's possible that you might need to run away after telling me. Is that okay? I'll try not to do anything, but. . .
She doesn't know how he means he lashes out, but any way he does, she can tell this is something that weighs heavily for him by the way his expression closes off. ]
Is it better for you if someone comes to check up on you after, or... would it feel worse for you if someone tries to stop you?
[ ... ]
If you need to me leave if something happens, I will, but I don't want to leave you alone. I'm not someone who's easily hurt.
[ she’s taking what he said into consideration. ]
Shigeo, we have been told that our worlds are made of memories, and those memories... or the essence of them aren’t in an ideal place. The Leaders are calling them. Or it? Nova.
[ is it both singular and plural? she’s not sure. ]
[A little bit of both. He didn't know how bad her news would be, but he's able to hold back.]
Me? . . . I don't know. [That's an extremely complicated question for someone who struggles as much with thinking through complicated things as he does. He doesn't have much of a sense of who he is to begin with. But. Hold on, because he's going to express a complete thought.]
Everyone is who they are because of the people they have around them and the things they experience. Without remembering important things like that, it is possible to lose yourself. But we're lucky here, because we're surrounded by others who are kind. That's worth considering, too.
His answer makes Jeanne's smile warm. It's a little soothing to know his good will, but it also pains her because he's someone who doesn't deserve to lose parts of himself like this. ]
It is. All of that is worth it. There are good people willing to help others, and I am grateful to meet and learn about every one of them. That's why I want to do what I can for you and for them.
If this is as friendly a game as they say it is, shall we try to make it a quick game? That way, we can help and save everyone from losing more than they should.
[He doesn't like that she's afraid of losing herself, when she's been so nice and brave like this. If there's something he can help with, he thinks it might be that.
After all, this has happened to him before.]
We'll all just have to do our best to find the nova before those things happen.
There was a time before this, too, that I was in a place where I lost my memories. I definitely. . . I definitely forgot about some very important things.
[Well, if she's just blatantly going to ask, he'll answer, but he hasn't really talked about this much before.]
There was an evil spirit who was possessing a girl. I sent my consciousness inside her to try to get him to leave. But instead, he wound up causing me to forget everyone I know.
I'm still in middle school, but that's my part time job.
[Anyway, what happened next, is. Uh. He doesn't really know how to answer, but he'll try.]
I was in a world that was like mine except I was alone and I didn't have any powers or any friends or anyone to help me. But that girl was in there, too, and she was. . . really awful.
He wanted to show me that people like her weren't worth using my powers to save.
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How about we sit down for a moment? Where were you going with the milk?
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[So. Taking it to her.]
Rabbit said so.
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[ She can adjust to him.
And then tell him terrible news in front of his cat? This may be a bad idea, but... ]
I think... there is something you must know, but you may drop what you're holding once you hear it.
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Will you hold this while you tell me?
[He still looks a little worried, though.]
Um. One thing first. If it's very bad, it's possible that you might need to run away after telling me. Is that okay? I'll try not to do anything, but. . .
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Does something happen if you get emotional usually? Is that something others have to watch out for with you at home?
[ there’s no judgment, only some concern, ]
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Yes.
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She doesn't know how he means he lashes out, but any way he does, she can tell this is something that weighs heavily for him by the way his expression closes off. ]
Is it better for you if someone comes to check up on you after, or... would it feel worse for you if someone tries to stop you?
[ ... ]
If you need to me leave if something happens, I will, but I don't want to leave you alone. I'm not someone who's easily hurt.
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You can try to if you want, but I really don't want to hurt anyone. So please run away if you aren't able to.
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[ she’s taking what he said into consideration. ]
Shigeo, we have been told that our worlds are made of memories, and those memories... or the essence of them aren’t in an ideal place. The Leaders are calling them. Or it? Nova.
[ is it both singular and plural? she’s not sure. ]
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We have to find the nova.
[That's about as far as he got.]
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[ She watches him closely. ]
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[Sorry, he doesn't really get it.]
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We may lose our memories.
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[He doesn't react for a second, just looks at her blankly, and then takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh, almost like relief.]
I don't want that to happen. [But it seems like he's not freaking out about it.]
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Her smile is wan. ]
I don't want it to happen either. To you or anyone else here. If there's one thing I don't want to lose, it's myself, but...
What is it that you consider you?
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Me? . . . I don't know. [That's an extremely complicated question for someone who struggles as much with thinking through complicated things as he does. He doesn't have much of a sense of who he is to begin with. But. Hold on, because he's going to express a complete thought.]
Everyone is who they are because of the people they have around them and the things they experience. Without remembering important things like that, it is possible to lose yourself. But we're lucky here, because we're surrounded by others who are kind. That's worth considering, too.
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His answer makes Jeanne's smile warm. It's a little soothing to know his good will, but it also pains her because he's someone who doesn't deserve to lose parts of himself like this. ]
It is. All of that is worth it. There are good people willing to help others, and I am grateful to meet and learn about every one of them. That's why I want to do what I can for you and for them.
If this is as friendly a game as they say it is, shall we try to make it a quick game? That way, we can help and save everyone from losing more than they should.
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[He doesn't like that she's afraid of losing herself, when she's been so nice and brave like this. If there's something he can help with, he thinks it might be that.
After all, this has happened to him before.]
We'll all just have to do our best to find the nova before those things happen.
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For each other and the worlds depending on us, we’ll do our very best. But are you not worried about what you can lose, Shigeo?
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[He nods, serious.]
There was a time before this, too, that I was in a place where I lost my memories. I definitely. . . I definitely forgot about some very important things.
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[ Her voice is soft, almost too quiet. That he has to possibly experience that all over again... ]
If it's not too painful, will you tell me about it?
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There was an evil spirit who was possessing a girl. I sent my consciousness inside her to try to get him to leave. But instead, he wound up causing me to forget everyone I know.
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Your consciousness? Is that... are you an exorcist?
[ That's not the important part, though. She's trying to put it in context. ]
What happened next?
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I'm still in middle school, but that's my part time job.
[Anyway, what happened next, is. Uh. He doesn't really know how to answer, but he'll try.]
I was in a world that was like mine except I was alone and I didn't have any powers or any friends or anyone to help me. But that girl was in there, too, and she was. . . really awful.
He wanted to show me that people like her weren't worth using my powers to save.
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That truly sounds awful, but if I were to guess... you disagreed. You thought she was worth it even if you recognized that she's done terrible things.
[ She doesn't know him too well, but just from their conversation, that's what she's been led to believe. ]
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