kano catchall

[exercisms]

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[suddenlybees]

[ Because he thinks he'll drag Mob down. Because that's all that'll happen, talking to him in his final moments, whether he's forthright or not, there'll only be this heavy feeling. ]

Yeah? I'm glad I could be useful in some way... But, you know, that's how people are. You talk to more and more people, and you learn all sorts of things. It's not just me, you could've learned whatever it was from anybody.

[exercisms]

I agree that's how people are, but every person is also different. So the things I can learn from you, I can only learn from you.

[It's heavy, but that's okay. That's something to learn from, too.]

No matter what happens, I'm glad that I met you.

[suddenlybees]

[ He breathes a laugh at that, reaching out like he wants to pet Mob on the head but remembers the barrier, so his fingers curl back on themselves and he takes his hand back. ]

You'd be the only person here who thinks that, you know? Kinda makes me feel bad that you're not more upset at me.

[exercisms]

Oh. Don't feel bad. I am upset.

[Hmm.]

I still can't understand why you wanted them to see you that way.

[suddenlybees]

[ is this upset ]

Oh... hm. It's kinda hard to explain, so I'm not going to. It's better like this, when they don't think too well of me. Makes it a little easier for me to breathe too.

[exercisms]

[He just explained it is, so it must be, even though his expression is just. What it is.]

That does sound hard to explain. You told me about how it's good to share your feelings with others, but even so. . .

[Then again.]

Even so, when you told me that. . . there are feelings I wasn't ready to share. It's too soon. I haven't changed enough, and the person I am now - that person might not be enough for her. I might be rejected, and I'm not sure I know how to handle that.

. . . Is it something like that?

[suddenlybees]

...Something like that, yeah.

[ almost exactly like that, yeah, except instead of a girl, it's the rest of the world. the person he is can only be rejected, a monster, not something fit for society. ]

[exercisms]

[He understood it wasn't a girl. He thinks he understands.]

. . . Um. Hikaru told me what she did.

[And he thinks a few things make a little more sense.]

I wound up scolding her a little. [It's Mob, though, so. Just a little.] To have to change, before you're ready to . . . it must have been difficult.

[suddenlybees]

[ me, losing my mind TWICE yesterday after being told what happened and who fucked with him, ]

Yeah, well, it was good intentions, or whatever.

[ or whatever. he was so pissed asdflkjh ]

I'm so sick and tired of being controlled. I thought if I fought it... well. That kinda backfired, huh?

[exercisms]

[. . . Nodding.]

When you said I might change my mind later. . .

[suddenlybees]

Ah, that? You haven't seen the worst of me, you know?

[ He has literally been better to Mob than anybody else in this game, it's so bad ]

[exercisms]

[That's what he thought he meant. But also. . . ]

You haven't seen the worst of me, either.

[suddenlybees]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[ There's no way a kid can be like this all the time, it can only get worse. ]

What are you like at your worst?

[exercisms]

I hurt people, and destroy things.

[Looking away from him.]

I sent my brother to the hospital once.

[suddenlybees]

[ Little kids go to the hospital for the most innocuous things, so that's about the extent Kano's mind goes. ]

Was it on purpose?

[exercisms]

[Shaking his head.]

It was an accident, but these accidents keep happening.

[suddenlybees]

I mean... sometimes you just have bad luck? I cause accidents all the time.

[ Sometimes on purpose? A lot of the time not on purpose. But he is very much a magnet for bad karma. ]

Isn't the more important point that it's not on purpose? All your bad things.

[exercisms]

It's not bad luck. It's me. I -

[He's not explaining it well.]

I have psychic abilities. And there are times when I'm not able to control what happens because of them.

[suddenlybees]

Like... mind reading...?

[ Did he give his brother a migraine that sent him to the hospital, what, Mob needs to explain more ]

[exercisms]

Telekinesis.

[Moving things around. So.]

I can move things and lift things. If I don't hold back enough, I can break a lot of things or hurt people.

[suddenlybees]

And you used it on your brother.

[ To play upsie daisy or? ]

[exercisms]

Mm.

[He doesn't really talk about this memory, Kano, so feel special!]

Except there was a day things got out of control. When I came to, some people were really hurt. Including Ritsu. He was really hurt. He was bleeding from his head.

[suddenlybees]

[ He doesn't feel special, he feels sad and confused!!! ): ]

I— but you didn't mean to. [ That's the sticking point for him, the most important point. ]

I dunno too much about psychic stuff, but it's nothing different than a fist, right? Sometimes... somebody gets real upset and hits you and it hurts- but they didn't mean it. That doesn't make them a bad person. Sometimes people lose control- that's human.

[exercisms]

I don't think that's right. A fist. . . if someone hits you, being angry is no excuse. They still hit you. It still hurt.

[It isn't right to hit people in anger either?]

If they do something like that, I don't necessarily think they're a bad person either - as long as they try to change, so it doesn't happen again.

[suddenlybees]

What if... they didn't mean it. Like, if they apologize right after, and they cry, and they clearly hurt more than they hurt you. [ It doesn't make things okay, but. It's like there's something he needs to justify. ]

Sorta like a porcupine or a cactus: they can't change. But they're not bad people either, right?