[She doesn't emerge from her room until late, wearily climbing down the stairs to try and sneak into the kitchen for some water. Her eyes are red and puffy, pajamas askew, jaw set with a cold expression of hurt and anger.
That fury softens when she spots Mob in the lobby, getting her to pause.]
...Shigeo-kun...
[Her chest aches. He'd tried so hard for Shuuya as well, and now...]
[She was crying. Oh no. He looks a little nervous - he seemed genuinely upset and shocked at trial, but whatever that was has faded again into something more subdued. That's the way it always is, with his feelings.
He just isn't sure how to comfort a person who's crying.]
Mm. I'm sad, too, but I'm going to be okay. Are you?
I... used it on him during trial. I thought it would help him, because he... he says a lot of stuff to keep people thinking that he's a horrible person, even if it isn't true, but...
Shuuya-kun... he really, really hates himself, you know? And I think... a lot of what he does is because he thinks everybody else needs to hate him, too. He doesn't wanna tell the truth, or what he feels, or what he even thinks, because he thinks that something in there is too horrible to talk about.
He's... really, really mad at me, Shigeo-kun. And I'm mad at me, and mad at all the people that voted for him, and...
[Thank god she's all cried out. Her jaw trembles a bit, but she forces her expression to settle.]
[He's listening, but he's still just processing all of that, too.]
Um. . . when I talked to him before, he encouraged me to say what's on my mind. And he said you were that kind of person, too.
Do you agree with that? Do you think it's better for someone to say what's on their mind, even if what they say might wind up making someone angry, or hurt?
It's why I told Shuuya-kun what I did. I care about him, and he deserves to know what I think, even if it isn't always nice. If he has to be mad at me... I want him to be able to feel that, and make his own decision about it.
But I won't lie to him about something like that just because I want to feel better, or I want them not to hurt as much.
[Her flinch doesn't stop him from watching her with a steady gaze. But he's a gentle person, and that's the most he's capable of scolding someone who is already regretful.]
Shuuya-kun calls me stupid all the time. I know why he does, and I know I'm not, but...
I.... if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't panicked and just trusted him to stand up for himself, then... he might not have been picked. And...
[And that, in itself, was the stupidest thing she feels she's done in a while. It seems so, so familiar that it just makes her feel like she's going to fall apart.]
Not from the execution. From this place. From... wherever the "removed" are taken. I don't want to believe they just vanish, and Shuuya-kun... I think he deserves another chance.
[To the question, though, she just shakes her head. Nope. The dead sure do stay dead.]
They don't where I'm from, either. Sometimes, people leave behind spirits, but that's all.
[He doesn't want to dash her hopes, but it seems like a bad idea to put your hopes in something like that. Pretending death isn't real, just because if it's real, the consequences are painful.]
This isn't either of those places though. It might be connected to everything, but... the Realm is special. And at the trial... there's a lot of people here that say they're supposed to be dead, or that they've died before. Virid-kun... the only reason he even did what he did was because he was supposed to be dead.
I don't know if we can bring anyone back. But if we can, while we're in a place like this...
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That fury softens when she spots Mob in the lobby, getting her to pause.]
...Shigeo-kun...
[Her chest aches. He'd tried so hard for Shuuya as well, and now...]
...Hey, Shigeo-kun... are you gonna be okay?
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He just isn't sure how to comfort a person who's crying.]
Mm. I'm sad, too, but I'm going to be okay. Are you?
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I'm angry. And I made a really... really, really bad mistake.
[She rubs at her eyes with one of her sleeves. It's fine. She's had her time to cry. Now wasn't the time to make anyone feel sorry for her.]
I'll... be okay, too, though. I just don't want tomorrow to happen.
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[He sounds concerned. He understands, though - it's easy to make mistakes when you're angry.]
What happened?
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You know about the gems, right, Shigeo-kun? The ones we got earlier in the week, at the virtual reality rooms?
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Yes - I have mine, still.
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I... used it on him during trial. I thought it would help him, because he... he says a lot of stuff to keep people thinking that he's a horrible person, even if it isn't true, but...
...
I think I just made it worse for him, Shigeo-kun.
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When? When did you use it?
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[That explains a lot about it.]
I could tell he was very frightened of something, and wanting to hide. But. . .
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Shuuya-kun... he really, really hates himself, you know? And I think... a lot of what he does is because he thinks everybody else needs to hate him, too. He doesn't wanna tell the truth, or what he feels, or what he even thinks, because he thinks that something in there is too horrible to talk about.
He's... really, really mad at me, Shigeo-kun. And I'm mad at me, and mad at all the people that voted for him, and...
[Thank god she's all cried out. Her jaw trembles a bit, but she forces her expression to settle.]
I don't want him to die...
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Um. . . when I talked to him before, he encouraged me to say what's on my mind. And he said you were that kind of person, too.
Do you agree with that? Do you think it's better for someone to say what's on their mind, even if what they say might wind up making someone angry, or hurt?
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It's why I told Shuuya-kun what I did. I care about him, and he deserves to know what I think, even if it isn't always nice. If he has to be mad at me... I want him to be able to feel that, and make his own decision about it.
But I won't lie to him about something like that just because I want to feel better, or I want them not to hurt as much.
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Hikaru-san. Please never, ever change someone's feelings that way again.
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But she nods, her eyes staying on the ground.]
I... don't want to. I didn't want to.
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Mistakes happen sometimes.
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Shuuya-kun calls me stupid all the time. I know why he does, and I know I'm not, but...
I.... if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't panicked and just trusted him to stand up for himself, then... he might not have been picked. And...
[And that, in itself, was the stupidest thing she feels she's done in a while. It seems so, so familiar that it just makes her feel like she's going to fall apart.]
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But he does feel sad for her, that she has to feel that way.]
If a mistake happened, all you can do is say you're sorry and try to do better.
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But... apologizing won't save him.
[Her fists clench tightly against her sides.]
I want to find a way to save him, Shigeo-kun. To bring him back, if anything happens.
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[They can try. But, just like before, they probably won't be able to.]
Do people who die come back, where you're from?
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[To the question, though, she just shakes her head. Nope. The dead sure do stay dead.]
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[He doesn't want to dash her hopes, but it seems like a bad idea to put your hopes in something like that. Pretending death isn't real, just because if it's real, the consequences are painful.]
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I don't know if we can bring anyone back. But if we can, while we're in a place like this...
Shouldn't we try?
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