exercisms | bucky catchall

Uh...sure?

Why do you need my help with that?

[Showing him his own profile on the device.]

It needs to be a funny shirt.

[ He still doesn't see what this has to do with him, until he spots "slight sense of humor."

Whoever wrote this profile of him is a jackass. ]

And you really thought I was the best person to help with...finding a funny shirt?

[Nodding.]

I don't know how to pick one that's funny. I've never been able to laugh at jokes.

[ ...well, on the one hand, he doesn't feel like much of an authority on humor himself.

On the other hand, though, he refuses to admit that because it'll just make him sound like a humorless killjoy. ]

Right...okay, then. Who's it for? You, or somebody else?

Cervantes-san said he would help me get muscles if I brought him a funny shirt.

[ Wow. There's a lot to unpack here. But if he does that, he's going to fall into a bottomless pit of whatever this hilarity is. ]

Okay. So what's your plan? Gonna go looking in the Emporium for something?

[Nodding.]

The Emporium. Will you help?

Yeah, alright, kid. Lead the way, I'll help out.

[Leading the way. Going to the emporium. There's lots of shirts with animals on them in here, I guess?]

[ Once they're there, he realizes suddenly just how much of the stuff here is specifically animal-themed. Huh. ]

Alright, go nuts. Pick out whatever you think counts as a funny shirt, then I'll see where we need to go from there.

[Looking at the shirts. Sweating. All of the shirts here are animal shirts, so. Looking at them? He's not sure what makes one funny?

Tentatively pointing at this one.]

Is that funny? He has glasses.

[ oh boy. ]

...It's a start. Let's hold on to this one and see what else you got.

[ He offers to take the shirt from Mob so that he can keep searching for more. ]

[I'll just keep googling shirts, Lisa, I'll do it all day. Pointing to another.]

That one? I know that you're supposed to laugh when someone shows their butt.

[ I both hoped and planned for this. I'm fucking ready. ]

If you're four, maybe. Put that one back, the wolf one is the better of the two. But keep looking.

Oh, okay.

[Pointing at a cute fox shirt.]

Is that funny?

[ shakes his head ]

Cute, but not funny. Those are different things. Try again.

[Pointing to this one? They're getting worse.]

[ EXCUSE YOU, HE BEGS TO DIFFER ]

...Eh, about as good as the first one. [ Gestures for Mob to hand over this shirt to him as well. ]

Do you just have a thing about shirts with glasses and puns on them?

[Shaking his head. Listen, these keep coming up when I google funny animal shirts.]

I don't. . . I don't know what's funny about any of them. I never have understood that kind of thing.

[ that is...so sad. ]

Alright, different question. Have you ever laughed before?

[Shaking his head.]

[ KID, THIS IS SO SAD ]

...huh.

[ How do you explain what humor is? Or laughter? Christ, somebody get this kid a therapist or something. ]

Just...go with the first one, the wolf one. Try that and tell me how it goes.

[He needs a therapist who is an expert on psychics.]

Thank you.

[Picking the wolf one. And then he'll add - ]

It's all right. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I just don't like it when others get angry because I don't.

[ He blinks, because that sounds really weird at first, but he thinks he gets it. Making a joke only to have this extremely neutral face stare at you the whole time would be pretty uncomfortable. But all the same... ]

Yeah, well, they can piss off.

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exercisms - 2020-10-07 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

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frostythehitman - 2020-10-08 06:15 (UTC) - Expand